Under Psychic Attack Part 2
In a previous Psychic Readings post ( HERE ) I described what I believe was some sort of psychic attack I endured one night a few months ago. In my personal Psychic Readings History with hundreds of clients this event was unprecedented. None of my clients had reported such an experience in my 20 years of working in the psychic field. I recorded every detail that I could I recall as soon as I possible after the psychic attack ended but since then I have remembered more of the experience, including witnessing part of it in a state of partial removal from my body! How does one describe the feeling of waking up unable to move yet fully alert and having this horrific experience of something trying to open one up like a tin of peas? "It" seemed determined to complete its task and it seemed to be acting on someone or something else's behalf. I say 'it' but there was more than one energy present. I had the feeling of a 'commanding' presence standing over the bed in front of me (I was lying on my left side during the experience) and one or possibly two "smaller" presences behind me. There was something "feral" about them. I sensed intelligence in the one leaning over the bed in front of me but I also felt it was "impersonal" - as though it were there only to observe. God, I'm only just now realising that I had these impressions! It all happened so fast that I couldn't process it at the time and the experience was still raw when I wrote about it on my blog. I think, understandably, I have avoided "going there" since the event but now there seems to be sufficient emotional distance to make it possible to relay the experience without re-living it. At least I hope so!Under Psychic Attack Part 2
What struck me at the time - and now - is the sheer physicality of the psychic attack by the two "feral" beings at my back. The presence in
front of me seemed to be watching my physical reactions closely whilst the one (or two) behind me seemed merely annoyed in an animal sort of way that I was attempting to stop them, like a dog that growls if you get too close to its chew toy. The noises I heard defy description and in some ways it was the noise that most terrified me because it threatened to make it impossible ever to think again. I had the distinct feeling that if I could not free myself from that noise, I could - literally - LOSE my mind, a prospect I find far more terrifying than losing something physical. What is weird about that is that I don't believe that the "mind" lives in the brain. Rather, the other way about. We dwell within consciousness so logically it is not possible to LOSE one's mind. However, in my state of extreme fear, my emotional self acted as though the brain and the mind were one. I wonder now if that was the "point" of the whole experience - assuming it was being orchestrated by some sentient being which is certainly how it felt!
front of me seemed to be watching my physical reactions closely whilst the one (or two) behind me seemed merely annoyed in an animal sort of way that I was attempting to stop them, like a dog that growls if you get too close to its chew toy. The noises I heard defy description and in some ways it was the noise that most terrified me because it threatened to make it impossible ever to think again. I had the distinct feeling that if I could not free myself from that noise, I could - literally - LOSE my mind, a prospect I find far more terrifying than losing something physical. What is weird about that is that I don't believe that the "mind" lives in the brain. Rather, the other way about. We dwell within consciousness so logically it is not possible to LOSE one's mind. However, in my state of extreme fear, my emotional self acted as though the brain and the mind were one. I wonder now if that was the "point" of the whole experience - assuming it was being orchestrated by some sentient being which is certainly how it felt!
"More Things In Heaven And Earth…"
On the other hand, if there is a purely psychological explanation for the episode, it might have to do with my history of "freezing" when I've had nightmares in the past. When confronted by a direct threat, I felt that I couldn't even scream; I seemed to be unable to emit even a whimper and I always felt terrified by that prospect in case it ever happened in real life! It was usually at this point that I would become aware of the fact that I was having a nightmare and I would wake up. In the psychic attack, however, I felt that I had to fight off whatever was
trying to "invade me" whilst remaining unable to control my body and I resisted with every bit of my being and mentally fought to get free. It seemed to be a battle for my Will - something that I admit has never been very strong in me. Although I would always fight on behalf of others, I found it nearly impossible to stand up for myself when it really mattered. Now that I think about it, I believe I have been 'tested' with regard to my Will from time to time but never to the extent that my survival seemed to be on the line! I guess it would take the threat of the loss of my intellect to get me to fully assert my Will. Threatening what I value most in life - the ability to think, to grow in understanding, to learn as much as possible - was perhaps the only fool-proof way to get me to assert my Will. But that begs the question of who - or what - would orchestrate such a thing? And why? Then again, if the whole episode was a sort of "psycho-drama" thrown up by my unconscious mind, it has some "serious 'splainin' to do" as Ricky used to say to Lucy!
On the other hand, if there is a purely psychological explanation for the episode, it might have to do with my history of "freezing" when I've had nightmares in the past. When confronted by a direct threat, I felt that I couldn't even scream; I seemed to be unable to emit even a whimper and I always felt terrified by that prospect in case it ever happened in real life! It was usually at this point that I would become aware of the fact that I was having a nightmare and I would wake up. In the psychic attack, however, I felt that I had to fight off whatever was
trying to "invade me" whilst remaining unable to control my body and I resisted with every bit of my being and mentally fought to get free. It seemed to be a battle for my Will - something that I admit has never been very strong in me. Although I would always fight on behalf of others, I found it nearly impossible to stand up for myself when it really mattered. Now that I think about it, I believe I have been 'tested' with regard to my Will from time to time but never to the extent that my survival seemed to be on the line! I guess it would take the threat of the loss of my intellect to get me to fully assert my Will. Threatening what I value most in life - the ability to think, to grow in understanding, to learn as much as possible - was perhaps the only fool-proof way to get me to assert my Will. But that begs the question of who - or what - would orchestrate such a thing? And why? Then again, if the whole episode was a sort of "psycho-drama" thrown up by my unconscious mind, it has some "serious 'splainin' to do" as Ricky used to say to Lucy!
Will or Acceptance?
It is more in my nature to function from a receptive state than to 'go after' things in life. "Going after" was usually punished in some way - sometimes subtly, most often overtly. I wonder now if this incident was a macabre lesson in the necessity to exercise Will as well as "radical acceptance"? Or was this incident a manifestation of something Occult, something other-worldly? What do you think? I could use some other perspectives on this so, please, feel free to leave your Comments!
© Delia O'Riordan 2012
Image Credits: "The Scream" by E. Munch and "Garden of Earthly Delights" (Detail) by H. Bosch courtesy of Wikimedia Creative Commons.
